I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
