So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize