I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
You have to summon your inner elephant
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
