Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
