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he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
FUCK WHALES
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