Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
