barbara walters just said penis...
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
