Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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