love makes seman taste better
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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