i will never coherently bang her
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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