i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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