I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
