I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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