I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Randomize