He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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