btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
