its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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