so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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