he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
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We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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