Why are handjobs necessary in class?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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