Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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