i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
