I hate your face
Your tits are I can't wait for
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
