This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
