nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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