yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
