after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
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