guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
