Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
