how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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