ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
