How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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