Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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