You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
