it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
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