im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
