i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
