I swear she didn't look like that last week.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
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