happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
