I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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