u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
