u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
