I bet he comes in French.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We talked him into tasing himself.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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