Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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