I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
