tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
