p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
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That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
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This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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