So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
