I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
