So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize