I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize