You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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