If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
