it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize