Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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