but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
