Sponge bath it is.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
