dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
