Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize