so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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