Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
