My liver just broke up with me...
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
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Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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